Consider how you treat yourself after you make a mistake or fail to reach a goal. If you tend to criticize yourself when things go wrong, you could probably benefit from a bit more self-compassion in your life, just like the majority of people. Self-acceptance and forgiveness seem to have benefits of their own. Strong self-compassion can lead to even better health, relationships, and overall wellbeing. So far, research has shown that practicing self-compassion provides a lot of advantages. People with higher degrees of self-compassion have been found to have lower levels of anxiety and despair. People who have self-compassion are aware of their own suffering and are kind to themselves at these moments, which reduce their own feelings of anxiety and sadness.
Most of us are aware of how crucial it is to aid in the development of self-esteem in both adults and children. Despite the widespread agreement that self-esteem is a good thing, research indicates that efforts to make people “feel good about themselves” may come at a great cost. For instance, putting a focus on building self-esteem is connected to perfectionism, self-criticism, self-judgment, and self-evaluation. High self-esteem can be associated with bullying actions including putting others down in an effort to feel better about oneself, such as feeling superior, above average, and better than others.
Self-compassion
Whether one has compassion for oneself or for others really doesn’t matter. Think about the feeling that compassion produces. To begin with, in order to have compassion for others, you must be aware of their pain. If you don’t pay attention to the homeless individual, you won’t be able to understand their terrible predicament. Second, to be compassionate, one must be moved by other people’s suffering to the extent where their sadness touches one’s own heart.
Self-compassion entails treating yourself with the same kindness when you experience difficulty, fail, or become aware of a flaw in yourself. You stop and think to yourself, “This is so painful right now,” how can I comfort and care for me in this moment, rather than just dismissing your discomfort with a “stiff upper lip” approach. Self-compassion entails being compassionate and sympathetic when faced with personal faults since, after all, who ever said you were expected to be perfect? Instead of harshly judging and criticizing one for various deficiencies or shortcomings.
Self-compassion is simply the ability to embrace and channel these same feelings toward oneself, particularly in the face of failure. The ability to show empathy, affection, and concern for others who are struggling is known as compassion. Most commonly out of a fear of giving in to self-indulgence or self-pity, many people who are typically compassionate find it challenging to be good to them. However, achieving emotional well-being might be challenging if one is unable to accept their own flaws. According to studies, American women often have less sympathy for themselves than American males. Women are frequently assigned the position of care by society, and gender norms place a strong emphasis on acts of selflessness and caring.
Elements of self compassion
1. Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment
Self-compassion is being compassionate and empathetic to ourselves when we struggle, falter, or feel inadequate as opposed to ignoring our suffering or hurting ourselves with self-criticism. Because they recognize that being flawed, failing, and experiencing challenges in life are inevitable, self-compassionate people prefer to be kind to them when confronted with painful situations rather than Get angry when life falls short of your expectations.
2. Common humanity vs. Isolation
An unreasonable but pervasive sense of isolation—as if “I” were the only one experiencing difficulties or making mistakes—often goes hand in hand with frustration at not getting all we want. But everyone has pain. Being “human” implies that one is mortal, susceptible, and flawed by nature. Therefore, self-compassion is seeing that suffering and personal inadequacy are aspects of the shared human experience, not just something that “me” personally experiences.
3. Mindfulness vs. Over-identification
In order to avoid either exaggerating or concealing our unpleasant sentiments, self-compassion also necessitates adopting a balanced approach to them. The process of relating one’s personal experiences to those of others who are going through a similar journey and placing one’s own condition into a larger context leads to this balanced viewpoint. It also comes from our wish to openly and clearly hold our unpleasant ideas and feelings in attentive awareness. When one is mindful, they are capable of accepting their ideas and feelings without trying to deny or suppress them.
4. Be kind to your body.
Consume a nutritious meal. Repose on the ground. Yourself a neck, foot, or hand massage. Go on a walk. Anything you can do to enhance your physical well-being will help you feel more compassionate toward yourself.
5. Letter to oneself is appropriate.
Consider a circumstance that left you in pain (a breakup with a lover, a job loss, a poorly received presentation). Describe the situation in a letter to yourself without blaming anyone, not even yourself. Utilize this activity to support your emotions.
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